Estacion Carmenere 2012 Colchagua Valley, Chile


ABV: 13.5%

Price: $15.00

Synopsis: In the olden days of Chile, a train used to stop at the Colchagua Train Station on its way to the Pacific Ocean. Over time, this station went from being a convenient place to stop mid-nowhere, and became a sweet tourist destination, kind of like Las Vegas in The Godfather Part II. If they’re serving this carmenere in the dining car, however, I would rather somersault across the Andes — or get shot through the eye like Moe Green. Either would be better than a long layover at the Estacion Station. All aboard!

Nose: A Chilean gaucho examines the broken leg of his mustang, while loading a gun. He blows you a kiss and pulls the trigger, wiping a tear from the corner of his mournful eye. The rich composite scent of romance, violence, and despair mingles with the blood and grass in the late afternoon heat. Somewhere, in the distance, a dog barks.

Body: Day-old bathwater, complete with a corpse and the radio that killed him. Tears shed at an airport, while getting fiancé-dumped on New Year’s Eve. Like the corpse and your ex-fiancé, though, this wine has legs that won’t quit.

Taste: Drinking from a storm sewer after the sky rains blood. Strawberry Shortcake’s bodily remains, cremated in a forest fire. That really bad sunburn your anemic teenaged girlfriend got while abusing Flintstone vitamins and failing summer school.

Finish: Falling off the top of a bunk bed and landing on a Lego castle with your face.