June Horoscope


The end of May saw several difficult astrological aspects formed between the strongly influential outer planets and the Sun, Mercury, and Mars in Gemini. The term that comes to mind to define the month ahead is confusement — a mixture of confusion and amusement. Gemini is a period when we can be contented in our own befuddlement, and giddy or dreamy in a state of insecurity. How will each sign deal with the fact that life is uncertain? That no action or desire can be completely known or calibrated? One reaction is to plunge into the constant enjoyment of trying new lifestyles and mentalities. Do they cling to the norms of human rights, basic needs, or fundamental desires? Or, do we turn to other ways to know the truth of it all—occult, conspiracy, the heavens, science, religion, etc., seeking questions that have no answers, but continuing to ask them anyway? Could we enjoy creating our own worldviews through a syncretism of beliefs, through producing art and wielding power, or is nihilism just the most fun, denying everything? This month all the signs are asked to pull the following maneuver: posit the questions that have no answer, and move on before you realize it.


Aries– This is a time to build your resources. You may not learn as many lessons as others this month, but you will deal with just as many problems. Spear forward, shield down, nose up. There’s no time to smell the flowers. The work you started months ago will start bearing fruit now, if you don’t let your own bad side become the worm in the apple

Taurus — This is the Time to Lead. Previous hardships feel light. Troughs have been plowed, fields planted, and the cool breeze of the summer is near. Look at how much work you have accomplished. Time for the bull to look up at the sun, spread its wings, and fly.

Gemini– Confusement is a cruel condition for creatures with simple ways. Shiny things, catchy jingles, and sweet joy of cheap sugar, drugs, and good times are usually enough for you to fly over the fray of substantive questions, like “but how do we know?” But what happens when your kite string is cut, and you flutter off without a paternal figure guiding you from the ground? It’s unfair to ask a fish to fly, or a snake to peddle a bicycle. This birthday season may not go as gleefully as most, but you have the chance to learn a lifetime’s worth of wisdom from the difficulties ahead.

Cancer– The specter of confusement haunts the possibility of citizenship, due process, rule of law, proper technique, and right and wrong morality. What now? Where will you find security, home, certainty, and ethics when all those stories about the nation, the economy, and the American dream can no longer be counted on? Will you hide in intertidal zones until a final solution appears?

Leo– Leos are in a better place than most to integrate all the heavy influences and confusing elements facing us in Gemini. They can offer renewed and nurturing friendliness to others, and they can easier bear the weight of the problems everyone faces. This month others will come to you without knowing why; all you have to do is dispense wisdom from a place of comfort and you will not go through any hardship. Whether your advice will help any, however, is another matter.

Virgo– Of course you are way too wise for this crap. Confusement is nothing more than a sophistic word for finding solace when scared. A crock. The basic premise is severely flawed: if the only known known in life is insecurity, then at least one basic truth has been achieved—Life is Insecure.This is why we have laws, order, insurance, coercive forces, and family planning. All well and good, Virgo, but do you think your acerbic heaviness limits your ability to dream? And if it does not, what would you possibly dream of?

Libra– What all signs need this month is a slick salesman, a role to which you can easily adjust. Some will need a religious leader, someone to show them how today’s joy can be invested into a security to be guaranteed for the unknowable beyond. Others will turn to the truth-tellers of science or the high priests of the occult, people who are able to show how labcoats and incense can easily explain the fundamental uncertainties of our reality (and by doing so banishing all the joy one could ever realize in this moment of exploratory confusion). You know, of course, that you are flexible enough to persuade anyone on any or all of these directions, but this month you will “prophet” most by sticking to the worldview you profess best: nihilism. There is no confusion, there is no amusement, there is no confusement — a mantra that the weak will line up to get behind this month.

Scorpio– Questioning, questioning, questioning… Scorpio, you know recidivism is bullshit (and that confusement isn’t even a word), and you might be the only one this month to pull the plug on it. You hate the nonsense of the balloon punching bag flopping back to your fist so merrily that you’ll happily shank it. Thank god.

Sagittarius– Although confusement might not be the natural state for a Sagittarius, it is a pleasurable space they often seek. A Sagittarius often feels most at home in this giddy cacophony, revelling in the many possibilities and directions it accommodates, and always anxious to see what can be accelerated or amplified. Sagittarians have a choice this month: act as a wise old sage, shepherding the other signs through pleasurable amusements to insights within the confusion; or take advantage of those stunned and immobilized to unleash your sagi-terrorist tendencies for your own pleasure and amusement — now able to toy easily with all the other signs, so obviously stunned and immobilized.

Capricorn– Confusement is a funny concept for you Sea-Goats, and this month will see the repetition of the frustrated. Let’s face it, confusion is not the best condition for a little goat scaling great heights, but repetitive questioning with no answers might be just the right situation to knock you off your feet and over the precipice. Is this amusing for Chronos, or just everyone else? Expect annoying conversations with loved ones, and unexpected amusements offered by people you despise.

Aquarius– In the face of confusement you will do what any imperialist federation would: weaponize a starship of scientific exploration and seek new life and new civilizations. As long as you have your mission, your science, and your technology, you can warp-speed your way through the trivialities of amusement and confusion. But be careful who captains your mission — Captain Kirk’s brashness and alien love affairs could compromise your goals.

Pisces– The dual mode of confusion and amusement is such a conventional way of being for you that the fact of confusement hardly seems like a problem. But be careful around Aries and Geminis this month, as they carry all the action of Mars and all the talk of Gemini with them (the burdens of incessant worry and cruelty). You’ve been getting a little sick of being so understanding of others, and even Piscean receptivity has limits and can only absorb so much. This month you might have a tendency to an outward expression of the sanctimony which has always been in the back of your mind.