Scorpio Horoscopes

Drawing by Freyja Zazu
Drawing by Freyja Zazu

All of analogue’s horoscopes are written by  Victoria Horological Society for the Science of the Science of the Different Zodiac signs for the Science of Horology.

As the sun moves through Scorpio this month and the darkness of fall descends on us, we see the fruits of our summer exploits literally rot in front of us. The sun in Scorpio Trines Neptune in Pisces, Venus and Mars lag behind in Virgo and conjoin with Jupiter giving everyone grand expectations that best laid plans will reach fruition. But the plans for change will be destroyed. In their destruction, the seeds of real change will be scattered, and some will land in rich soil.  The crucial question faced by all the signs in Scorpio of 2015 is built on this groundwork of decay: What needs to die in your life right now so that you can be free to pursue your more fertile aspirations? 

Aries:  Having no plans and so many seeds to scatter, the thing that needs to die for your freedom to enlarge is the Arian fantasy that there are no limits to tomorrow. Fertile aspirations are not for libertarians.

Taurus: Whatever lives and dies is not in your control, and therefore it’s not your forté to engage. Hard work is all you have. Keep working hard. The dirt on your clothes at the end of the season will prove that you are hard working.

Gemini:  Your naïve belief that all aspirations are fertile makes it difficult to free yourself by discarding poorly made plans. It’s the price you pay for being very nice and willing to dream of rainbows in a time of putrid death.

Cancer: You don’t believe that your best laid plans will be destroyed? How could a plan be “best laid” if it’s failure is inevitable? Look deep within yourself. Your faith in plans needs to die for you to be free to pursue a better laid plan.

Leo: All of your plans are based on being seen by others as above criticism. This view needs to die if you are to become free from the seeds of your own failure.

Virgo: The best laid plans you have right now are mislaid plans. This is hard to believe, given how well everything seems to be aligning. But your immediate future is actually dimmer than it has ever been before.

Libra: The fall season will press Librans to assert themselves in ways that make them feel uncomfortable; this is because your standard of measurement have proven mal-functional.  Readjust yourself, even if it requires assertion and destruction.

Scorpio: Re-evaluate the foundations and edges of your personal ethos – How do you define yourself against that which you hate? The most apt move this season is to putrefy – to grow new sources of self on the carcass of your enemies.

Sagittarius:  Your morals this month will putrefy. It is well known by others that you were just doing what you wanted all along.  Way to mislead yourself. Fess up and lie about it all over again.

Capricorn:  You feel like now is a good time to shave your head. But why stop there? Why not try shaving your whole body? Expose yourself completely to perceived threats. Offer your most sensitive bits to the sharpest of edges.

Aquarius: When your best laid plans for scientific research fail due to lack of public government research funding, you are stubborn enough sell your work to Monsanto. Is that really an advancement of science?

Pisces:  You won’t have to worry about being pursued or attacked because everything is dying. Good thing that putrid death is watery. While Leos try to keep their heads above the murky festering swamp, you can swim in it like the fish you are.